


Fishy Theories

by Junker



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 15:22:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18055043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Junker/pseuds/Junker
Summary: Two Krogan go on an impromptu date after a business meeting on the Citadel.





	Fishy Theories

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Angelwingsl3 (Marie_Fanwriter)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marie_Fanwriter/gifts).



> I let the mystery of the fish left open so you can pretend Shepard finishes the quest however you desire! I hope this suits your fancy!

Kargesh and Rukar sat on a bench with a chair between them. It wasn’t that they wanted the seat between them, it was that their Krogan forms were too large to actually sit next to each other. Even with the spot between them, their shoulders and knees brushed together. Both found feeling the other a comfort as C-Sec Staff glanced at the Krogans suspiciously as they walked past. Kargesh held a Turian dummy that was just a torso, arms to the elbow, and head. Rukar suspected the dummy was enough for the C-Sec officers to be suspicious of them, but he supposed being Krogan didn’t help.

“Who do you suppose these benches were designed for?” Kargesh asked as he shifted in the seat. “I’d like to see a Volus try to sit on it. My tail is pressed against the wall.”

“Mine too,” Rukar said. “Didn’t realize how much smaller Turians are until I try to squeeze into one of these benches.”

“Maybe they were for Asari,” Kargesh said. “I was going to say Salarian - but I’m not sure their feet could reach the ground.”

Rukar chuckled, and he won a warm smile from Kargesh. Kargesh shifted in his seat so the dummy was positioned away from Rukar. Kargesh held out his hand and Rukar took it. Their eyes met briefly, and Rukar gave his hand a warm squeeze. Both were a little nervous and neither were patient. Kargesh’s anxieties came out restlessly. He fidgeted and bounced the dummy on his knee like he would a Krogan baby. Rukar just grew quiet and sullen, which wasn’t particularly out of character for him. Still, both felt better with their hands linked. People were staring anyway, a little extra affection hardly mattered.

Kargesh released Rukar’s hand to adjust the scarf over his hump. Rukar said, “We can do this. They’re going to love it.”

Kargesh grinned and nodded. Rukar exhaled and wondered how much longer they’d be left to wait. Probably long enough for his confidence to leave him. Kargesh moved the dummy back to the side closer to Rukar and adjusted the dummy’s shirt as well. Rukar straightened out the dummy’s mandibles. A large, female human stood in front of them with a clipboard. She looked at the dummy and said, “Officer Quidos will see you now. Follow me.”

The pair of Krogans got off the bench with some difficulty, but the human waited patiently with a polite smile. Kargesh liked her. She looked like she could lift a Turian with one arm, and she had a jagged scar across her cheek. She made Rukar nervous. Humans were soft, but their tenacity unnerved him. He’d seen humans fight like Krogan, with blood pouring from their gut while they spit teeth at their enemy, but they had no extra support organs or tough skin to justify how relentless they were. Kargesh admired it, but Rukar wondered what it meant that they had none of the strengths other species possessed but still spread quickly through the galaxy like a weed and rooted themselves.

He trusted humans and liked them fine, but he was unnerved because he knew what happened when a tough species made a claim for what they had earned. How long would it be until their spread was extinguished like the Krogan’s? And what would happen then? Maybe they’d fight each other until they had no fight left, but what would it mean if they banded together? It would be a galaxy-wide war, and it would ignite the fire back in the Krogan. He knew Kargesh would raise his gun to fight with the humans, but Rukar had fought in many wars before. He’d made friends and connections with countless species - both Citadel and non. He wasn’t sure he had it in him to fight people he cared about again.

As much as this human pumped up Kargesh’s enthusiasm, Rukar’s own enthusiasm faded. If Kargesh hadn’t been with him, he would have excused himself from the meeting and cancelled it. Instead, the human led them into a brightly lit office with a rather small Turian with thin white markings sitting behind a desk. He stood up with a nod. “Take a seat.”

Kargesh and Rukar found themselves trying to squeeze back into chairs designed for a species both smaller and squishier than they themselves were while the human left the room. “I’m Officer Quidos. I spoke earlier with Rukar.”

“That’s me,” Rukar said with a nod. “This is my partner Kargesh. He helped develop the material with me and we’re business partners.”

“Great,” Quidos replied. “And I understand that we’re the first agency you’ve pitched your material to?”

“Yes,” Kargesh replied as he leaned forward with the dummy in excitement. “We are prepared to offer exclusive rights.”

Quidos nodded while Rukar’s stomach turned. Rukar supposed it wouldn’t matter in the long run. They’d always have the knowledge to develop more of the material - it just meant they may put it in the hands of the enemy too. Besides, it wasn’t likely to be used in any sort of ground war. It was defensive and meant for civilians. Perhaps it was better that everyone had access to it.

“I suppose you’ve brought that dummy for a demonstration,” Quidos said.

Kargesh beamed and then looked to Rukar. Rukar said, “Yes. Go ahead, Kargesh.”

Kargesh struggled back out of the chair and set the dummy down on Quidos’ desk, knocking over a few papers and a photograph in the process. “The material is tough. It won’t tear or get run down against Turian carapace, but it still feels light-weight and doesn’t restrict mobility,” Kargesh said.

Quidos thoughtfully touched the fabric and then the dummy’s carapace to check its realism.

Kargesh continued, “It will defend against the weakest of blasters, but nothing too powerful. This is meant for officers who wouldn’t normally be wearing armour or would have another layer of protection on top of their uniform.”

“Yes, I spoke of that with your partner,” Quidos said.

“Oh, of course,” Kargesh said, now visibly a little nervous. Rukar watched Kargesh swallow his nerves as he continued, “The material would protect against minor stabbings unless the knives are made from particularly tough material, like Vorcha teeth. It does have other defensive capabilities, if you don’t mind my demonstrating.”

“Go ahead,” Quidos said.

Kargesh took out a blade and handed it to Quidos. Quidos examined the blade and handed it back to Kargesh. Kargesh stabbed the dummy and dark blue blood oozed from the stab wound. Quidos’ eyes widened, and Kargesh explained, “So when the material rips, you can reconnect where the rip is and the material knits back together, though it is notably weaker. This is so in a pinch your team will still look presentable after a rough encounter. 

“Now when you have a wound,” Kargesh continued, “you can press the material to the injury and it will suction the wound close to prevent blood loss. It only lasts an hour or so, but it should give the wearer enough time to get help.”

Kargesh demonstrated this with the dummy. He then raised the shirt to show where the material clung to keep the open wound closed. Quidos nodded with interest.

Rukar added, “It will also protect against low levels of radiation, and if one puts the material over their mouth, it will protect against gas or other airborne substances for around twenty minutes depending on how much oxygen the wearer needs. With Turians it’s around twenty minutes. It tends to be ten or fifteen minutes for humans and around forty minutes for Salarians.”

“Interesting,” Quidos said.

Rukar and Kargesh waited as Quidos stood up to examine the material on the dummy. He tested the strength of the material with a few of his own blades and then shot the dummy with a C-Sec issued pistol. He then used the material to seal the dummy’s wound and looked at it thoughtfully. Rukar thought if Quidos took any longer the chair might get crushed under his weight, but he didn’t want to look eager or restless, so he stayed sitting in the uncomfortable chair. Kargesh glanced back at him with a small smile.

After Quidos spent a few more minutes testing the limit of the fabric, Quidos tried to wipe some of the fake Turian blood off his own uniform and said, “I’ll have to talk to my superiors. You said you brought samples for us to try.”

Now Rukar found a reason to heave himself off the tiny chair. “Yes, but you must understand that we can’t just offer up the material without a deal in place. We know the Citadel’s capabilities and the material could be reverse-engineered.”

“I can’t agree to anything without talking to my superiors.”

“We can wait on the Citadel until you do,” Rukar said.

Kargesh picked up the dummy and wiped the blood off the material. It came off clean, and Quidos looked at his own stain. Quidos said, “It would be helpful if I had something to show them.”

“It would be,” Rukar said. “So we can either talk to your superiors with you, or we can wait on the Citadel until you talk to them yourself. You did tell me that you were the person we needed to talk to, if you were mistaken-”

“I am the person to talk to,” Quidos said, firmly. He tried wiping off the blood again, but the stain held strong. “I’ll talk to my superiors and then contact you.”

“We’ll talk later then,” Rukar said. “Our passes only grant us access to the lower wards. We would love to see the Presidium while we’re here.”

“Unfortunately we cannot grant access to the Presidium to you,” Quidos said. “Perhaps after I talk to my superiors we can see about getting your passes extended.”

Both Rukar and Kargesh hid their disappointment. “All right. Thank you for your time, Officer Quidos.”

“Of course.”

Rukar and Kargesh left without a handshake, and Quidos made no motion towards wanting one. Kargesh kept the dummy under his arm as they walked out of the C-Sec offices. Kargesh waved to the human that led them through, and he won a wave back in return. “Wish we’d spoken to a human instead of a Turian. Stabbing his own kind might have pissed him off,” Kargesh said.

“He was trying to hide how impressed he was,” Rukar said. “We have this deal, and if not, I can line up one on Illium.”

“Good call on making that fake blood stain as much as it does,” Kargesh said. “It was fun watching him try to wipe it off.”

Rukar smiled at his partner, and Kargesh moved the dummy to his other side so he could hold Rukar’s hand as they walked. “Sorry I couldn’t get us those Presidium passes,” Rukar said.

“Maybe later,” Kargesh said. “I can wait. The fish in the lakes up there will still be there when we get there.”

Rukar sighed. “There are no fish in the lakes on the Presidium.”

“There definitely are,” Kargesh said. “I’ve heard about it. I want to eat one.”

“You’ve also heard about an Asari with a Vorcha father. Some things you hear are just not real.”

“That Vorcha father thing is definitely real!”

“No way an Asari would bond with a Vorcha. They live for like one second, and what traits would the Vorcha even pass down? The Asari might as well bond with another Asari.”

“You’re impossible to talk to sometimes,” Kargesh said. “You’re more stubborn than that blood stain on a cheap C-Sec uniform.”

The pair exchanged looks and Kargesh won a laugh from Rukar. Kargesh squeezed Rukar’s hand and said, “Since we can’t have a Presidium date, where should we go?”

“There’s a cafe close by,” Rukar replied. “We could have a bite and maybe do some window shopping.”

“I thought you’d want to go back to our room and rut out our victory,” Kargesh said, “But I could eat.”

“I mean, I’m all for rutting, but we aren’t here for long. It’d be nice to see some of the sights.”

“We could open the blinds in our hotel room,” Kargesh said.

Rukar patted Kargesh’s arm and said, “We’ll grab a bite to eat, look at some guns, and then rut the night away.”

“Perfect,” Kargesh said. “Do you always get exactly what you want?”

“Hopefully,” Rukar said. “We’ll see what this Quidos says.”

The pair entered the cafe, ordered a light meal, and took their dishes to a table with three seats. Kargesh settled on a salad with heavy chunks of meat and a tall bubbling liquid. He was disappointed there wasn’t any seafood on the menu. Rukar had a meaty sandwich with a cup of tea. Kargesh put the dummy in one chair and they found the seats wider and the height of both the table and the chairs adjustable. “Now this is more like it,” Kargesh said.

They energetically adjusted their seats and got comfortable before eating. Kargesh said, “You seemed a little off at the meeting.”

“You did well,” Rukar said. “I wanted to give you more time to shine.”

“You were thinking of your imaginary Human-led galaxy war, weren’t you?”

“Yeah, a bit,” Rukar said, “but then I thought it would probably be better if our material was accessible to everyone, right? Maybe it would help protect some civilians.”

“Rukar, how do you believe this war will happen when you don’t believe anything I tell you?” Kargesh asked.

Rukar laughed. “Experience.”

Rukar had a few hundred years on Kargesh, and in turn he was more jaded. He wasn’t sure that Kargesh would be jaded too if he were his own age, but he blamed his age for his own exhaustion with the world. He’d seen too much and been through too much. Rukar added, “I know the worst of what this galaxy has to offer and in turn I prepare for it.”

“Which is why we develop protective clothing.”

“Exactly,” Rukar said. “I’ve seen too many people get hurt who got unwillingly dragged into their situation.”

The pair ate quickly for a moment. Rukar was embarrassed that it felt more like an extended business meeting than a date. Lately all of their dates felt like business meetings with a bit of sex. “Hey,” Rukar said. “Sorry I’ve been so focussed on work lately.”

Kargesh shrugged. “I like work. Don’t sweat it.”

When Rukar didn’t reply, Kargesh looked up from his food. “Really Rukar. If it weren’t for you, I’d still be part of the Blood Pack and probably dead. I think what you do is interesting and I love that you include me in it. Sure, I know fuck all about materials and even appealing designs, but I still like hearing you talk about it.”

Rukar smiled. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Kargesh said, turning back to his dish. “Never thought asking an Asari dancer about her lingerie would change my life, but here we are.” Rukar laughed, and Kargesh grinned. He added, “Glad I wasn’t the one that tried to cut off a garter with a knife.”

Rukar said, “And I never would have gotten off Omega if I didn’t have your hands to help me. Never imagined we’d end up on the Citadel though.”

“Same here,” Kargesh said. “Can’t believe we’re really here, and if we get this contract, we could be established here in the center of the galaxy.”

The pair ate quietly for a moment in thought with the dummy sitting in the chair between them. It caught a few passer-by’s eyes. Rukar pushed the plate back and leaned back in his chair. He was comfortable and happy. He pressed his foot against Kargesh’s under the table. Kargesh still picked at his salad. “Not sure how I feel about all these lights,” Kargesh said. “Can’t tell if it’s night or day.”

“Suppose it doesn’t matter,” Rukar said. “Everyone’s internal clocks are probably different anyway. I’m surprised you’d care.”

Kargesh shrugged. “I just heard they had a sky on the Presidium.”

“That’d be nice,” Rukar said, “but maybe it’s always day up there.”

“Good point,” Kargesh said. He shook the dummy’s shoulder and said, “I suppose we should put the fella away before we do any window shopping. Probably doesn’t look good for a couple of Krogan to walk around with a bloody Turian torso.”

“Probably doesn’t,” Rukar agreed.

The pair set their dishes back on the counter before they left the cafe. The pair lightly held hands again and peeked in shops as they walked by. The dummy had started bleeding through the material, so they were careful not to linger too long. Rukar considered how nice it was to simply walk around with his partner. They both had been doing so much to make this deal happen that they didn’t get much time together just for each other. The Turian dummy under Kargesh’s arm did not take away from the magic of their moment. He was a reflection of all they accomplished to get this far.

They reached their hotel room without incident, and Kargesh set the dummy on the room’s desk to refill his blood and repair his injuries. Rukar freshened up and looked out the hotel window. The lower wards’ neon lights shone into their window. Their view was mainly of a sushi restaurant and a few other businesses. He flicked on the privacy screen before Kargesh started talking about fish on the Presidium again. There were no fish on the Presidium and he did not want to start that again.

He swallowed and sincerely hoped there weren’t fish there. If there were, did it mean he’d have to take all of Kargesh’s theories seriously? That worried him. Asari reproducing with Vorcha just wasn’t something he could comprehend, nor did he believe Kargesh’s theory that Varren could play poker if given enough practice. Even he didn’t understand Poker - how could a Varren? Poker’s incomprehensibility was just more truth that Humans were a scrappy species. They would be a strong ally in a war, not that Rukar wanted to be pulled into another.

As Kargesh put a fresh shirt on the Turian dummy, he said, “You’re looking pensive. What are you thinking about?”

Rukar lied, “I was just thinking this would be a nice place for a head office. We’ve come a long way. Remember when our factories were just me and a sewing machine?”

“Oh, do you remember when we had that tiny little Quarian working for us on Omega?” 

“Yes! Faefa.”

“She was so sweet.”

Rukar added, “Not many fingers, but nimble. Could handle the kickback of a shotgun better than anyone I’ve met too - anyone not a Krogan, anyway.”

Kargesh set the dummy down and smiled. “Sometimes I miss those days. I feel in love with you as soon as I saw you behind that sewing machine. The biggest Krogan I’ve ever seen, sewing a delicate, lacy negligee for a busty Asari, and knowing that the strap was strong enough to withstand any blade.”

“You just liked picturing the other things my fingers could do.”

Kargesh laughed and wrapped his arms around Rukar’s waist. “I loved learning all the other things your fingers could do.”

He pressed his forehead against Rukar’s. Rukar said, “And I loved that you were willing to give everything up to help me create clothes and fabrics of all things. It’s not very Krogan.”

“You forget that Krogan love all kinds of armour. I just really love the ones that you don’t realize are armour until you figure out you can’t get past it.” Rukar laughed softly, and Kargesh kissed his neck. Kargesh continued, “How about we take off this armour and start celebrating our victory?”

“It’s not a victory yet,” Rukar said, gently pulling his partner away to hold his hands instead. “I know it’s silly, Kargesh, but I’m too nervous right now. My mind wouldn’t be completely on you, and I want it to be.”

“Hey, I want it to be totally on me too,” Kargesh said with a smile.

Rukar almost exhaled in relief. He wasn’t sure how he’d found someone so caring and patient.

Kargesh said, “Let’s do some window shopping, and maybe we’ll hear from that Turian and we can finally relax, whatever the result.”

“That sounds great,” Rukar said. “Even if it’s a no, I’ll be able to relax after.”

“I know you can handle a ‘no’ as well as I can,” Kargesh said. “You almost love working on a backup plan more than getting a ‘yes’ the first time.”

The pair started to leave the hotel room. Rukar laughed. “I just like working - and I love working with you.”

Kargesh nudged him with his shoulder before holding his hand again. The headed back into the Zakera Ward market and glanced in shops as they debated where to look. They stopped at a Quarian asking for some spare change, and both Kargesh and Rukar offered a few credits with the memory of Faefa fresh in their minds. Rukar gave the Quarian his business card. “We’re not on the Citadel, but if you’re looking for work, we can relocate you no problem.”

“T-thanks,” the Quarian replied. He looked at the card and took a step back from them. “I’ll, uh, think about it.”

The Krogans moved on, and Kargesh said, “He probably thinks you’re trying to kidnap him.”

“Worth a shot anyway,” Rukar said.

“True,” Kargesh replied. “Where do you think Quarians would fall in your human-led war anyway?”

“I think they’d try to stay out of it,” Rukar said. “Why? Do you think they’d be anything but neutral?”

“I don’t know. It’s not like the Citadel races treat them well,” Kargesh said.

They walked for a few more steps before Kargesh said, “Why do you think there aren’t fish in the Presidium lakes?”

“Because then they’d have to maintain the water for the fish,” Rukar said. “Wouldn’t they have to clean them more?”

“They’d have to clean the lakes anyway. Besides, there are fish that clean water.”

“Are there though?”

“Yes,” Kargesh said. “I know fish.”

“Kargesh, I love you, but I don’t think you know much about fish.”

“Well, I know enough about fish to know there are fish on the Presidium.”

The pair stopped walking to argue for a few minutes, neither changing their stance though their debate grew more heated. Kargesh was adamant that the theoretical fish on the presidium would taste decadent, while Rukar refused to believe fish existed there and that they would be far from decadent if they did. Neither noticed the human eavesdropping on their conversation. When the human left to investigate this theory on their own, Rukar said, “If there are fish on the citadel, then I’ll stop believing in the human-led galaxy war.”

“Oh yeah? You’re on.” Kargesh said, puffing up. After a beat, he added, “Now, uh, how do we figure this out?”

“No idea,” Rukar said. “Guess we’ll just have to hope Quidos gets us that pass.”

“And then we’ll eat the Presidium fish.”

“I’m telling you, if for some reason the galaxy is spinning backwards and there are fish in the Presidium lakes, they wouldn’t be worth eating. But there definitely aren’t fish in the Presidium lakes.”

Kargesh grinned, and Rukar frowned. Rukar asked, “What are you grinning about?”

“Just thinking about how great it’ll be to prove you wrong.”

Rukar huffed. “Do you want to argue here all night? Or do you want to look at big guns?”

Kargesh pretended to think about it for a moment. Rukar tried not to laugh. Kargesh said, “If there are fish on the Presidium, and if they are edible, what citrus would you want to eat with them?”

Rukar thought about this for a moment. “Definitely an orange.”

“I would say a lemon.”

“I can’t believe you,” Rukar said. “You’re just pushing my buttons now, aren’t you?”

“I was going to say the same about you.”

The pair laughed, and Kargesh hugged Rukar tightly. “You’re the best,” Kargesh said.

Rukar smiled and wrapped his arms back around Kargesh. “You are too.”

**Author's Note:**

> (Since the authors are revealed, I'm slapping up my links!)
> 
> • [Twitter](https://twitter.com/JunkerFics) • [Tumblr](https://junkerfics.tumblr.com/) • [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/Junker) • 


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